Assembled from voicemails I received over the years

Hi Lisa
You have such a slender neck
You’re so tiny
Maybe you could make us a pizza.
I felt sure that
the frozen egg rolls went missing.
You can’t begrudge a person
because
if they did that
they’re hungry.
And at least the person left me
one.

Hi Lisa
I’ve got another problem, presently
I’m in the market
for a pair of brown
corduroy
pants.
I’m out of anything to wear
on the lower half
of my body.
I have a poncho
but the mosquitos
will get under that.
So that’s my dilemma.

Hi Lisa
I apologize if this is too early.
My phone is acting
very peculiar.
I went to check the weather
and it like,
wouldn’t do anything
NUH-THING.
And now
blank blank blank
And now
it lit briefly and then went out
and
nothing
nothing
nothing
now it’s gone again and I don’t know
if you’re hearing this
oh God in Heaven anyway
I’m really a sinking ship
here.